Greetings from Lavina, MT

The second leg of our journey was basically uneventful. It was noted that from one gate to the next, it was a further walk than what Ralph normally walks at the gym.

We arrived in Billings, MT without incident. I got our rental van and we were on our way to E-Z’s ranch. E-Z’s real name is Ezra and he went to High School with Ralph and Vaughn. They have come out West to visit him as well. He and his lovely wife Deborah have a beautiful ranch about 5 miles outside of Lavina, MT. The views are amazing.

After visiting with them for a time, Jim arrived. Jim is a college friend of E-Z and came down from Calgary. The band is all back together. I also got to meet Shep, the Wonder Dog and Bess. They are two great dogs. E-Z wanted to show us the ranch. Being the driver, I drove all of us around as he pointed to the ends of his property. He directed us into town to stop at the Cozy Corner.

Lavina, MT has a population of 168. When we arrived at the Cozy Corner at 4 p.m. on a Tuesday, approximately 10% of them were there. Lavina’s hottest night club is Cozy Corner. Located at the corner of 3 and High, this place has everything. Beer, Lay’s Potato Chips, Night Crawlers, Country Music, Borat “My Wife” jokes and Free Wi-Fi. It is owned by Terry, who according to Yelp reviews is both hilarious and their drunken customer.

This is where I began my education. I keep them vague in the interest of protecting them…a little.

I was yesterday year’s old when I learned that it was common for one of our party to leave pumpkins on the front porch of others. It seemed polite until I also found out that he threw them from the truck while he was driving by.

Some of them replaced some of the chocolate with laxatives and it sent 3 boys home for the day from the high school. They were threatened with expulsion if any of them missed a day from school. Fortunately, they all returned.

They are also a fan of old movies. Airplane, 48 Hours, Old SNL, Blazing Saddles, and Young Frankenstein.

We arrived back at the ranch to find that baked potatoes were in the oven. E-Z asked us how we liked our steaks. I went over to the grill a bit later. These were massive steaks and we all thoroughly enjoyed them. Deborah made a fresh pineapple upside down cake. I’m sure it was delicious. None of us got to try it. We were all too full.

As the sun started to set, we all slowly started to retire for the evening. With the jetlag, we are two hours behind. I was hoping to be able to take some photos of the stars here in Big Sky country. However, the clouds rolled in and I was treated to a lightning storm across the High Plains as I drifted off.

Tomorrow, we will be headed to Pompeys Pillar National Monument.

 

 

And so, it begins. Our travelling band of “Rough Riders” as we were named left for Dulles Airport at 4:30 a.m. when we picked our last passenger up. Vaughn was waiting outside, bag in hand.

 

But let me step back and explain a little bit about our group. I am Mitch, and I am the foot man for this adventure. My self-imposed job is to document this trip, move the bags, and drive. Along with that, it to ensure that they don’t forget their medicine, hearing aids, luggage, and that they don’t get lost in Big Sky County.

I am accompanied by two other gentlemen. The first is Ralph. He is my father-in-law. He is a giant of a man in personality, opinion, charisma, and size. He is 72 years old. It was his idea that this trip was taken this year. He says that he wants to check the progress of the Crazy Horse monument. This is a 13-day trip to see Crazy Horse that will take us through nine states.

The latter is Vaughn. I can say that I do not know much about Vaughn yet. He and Ralph went to High School together. He is a tall man and wears hearing aids. The one thing that was told to me before I left was that if I didn’t leave him behind and that Ralph didn’t kill him, that I should get a medal. I’m not sure what that means. So, we shall see.

Anyways, back to July 22.

Betsey was kind enough to ride along with us to the airport and drive home. She really is the best. She is and will be support from afar during the next two weeks.

After dropping us off curbside, we all said our good-byes and we were on our way. First stop, the Delta Desk. Being that they are Ralph and Vaughn are firmly set in their ways, they needed to get paper boarding passes. Even though I had checked them in 24 hours prior, they had no way of showing their pass on their smartphone. Neither of them has one. I approach the desk and provide my ID. I introduce myself and what is required. The agent asks for their identification. Ralph must take a moment because his ID is intermingled with his glasses, Kleenex, paper towels, and a few other items in his breast pocket. Eventually, we have everything we need and our able to go to Security. I remind him to just keep his ID out, so he can show the TSA agent. He declines my advice and we go thru the exercise again once we arrive at TSA…2 MINUTES LATER.

After several minutes, we make it to the security conveyer belt. Ralph please take your shoes off, your belt off, anything metal and everything out of your pockets. He takes his shoes off. I was thankfully surprised that they were “hole free”. He then takes his belt off and remarks “Hopefully my pants don’t fall off.” Ok, we are moving now though.

“Do you have anything in your pockets?”

“No.”

“Anything at all?”

“No. Just Kleenex, paper towels, my glasses, my ID and this.” He then proceeds to pull out rolled bills about 3 inches thick.

“Sir, those all count as things in your pocket.”

Eventually, we make it thru security.

Ralph and Vaughn want a cup of coffee.

They go get themselves one. “I’ll meet you over there.” I turn around minutes later and see Ralph looking like a lost child in the middle of the walkway.

“Everything okay?”

“I spilled coffee.”

I look down and about a half a cup of coffee all over the floor. He tells me that he has been standing there and no custodial staff has been by. However, he is glad I came over. He gave me the paper towels out of his pocket and had me clean up the coffee. Crisis averted.

“Ralph, when was the last time you were on an airplane?”

“1970.”

We find out gate. As always happens when one flies, it is the gate furthest from security. We make it, sit down and wait for our flight to be called. It is discussed that if Ralph needed to use any of the facilities, it was best to do it now rather than on board. The fear being that he may not fit in the lavatories. Ralph tries to stand up. He eventually needs assistance from me to get to his feet. The seats were just too low. Normally, I would leave this story out. It happens, low seats make it difficult for tall people to stand up sometimes. I get it.

But here is why it is in this blog. When he returns, I tell him our section has been called and it is time to board. He decides to sit back down. I must help him to his feet again.

We board the plane and get settled. I show him how to use the on-board entertainment, where to plug in headphones, and get a seat belt extender for him. He is finally settled and away we go.

 

 

Betsey and I recently travelled to Key West, Florida from July 16-19, 2019. It has been a location on our “Bucket List” since 2005. We took a cruise in 2005 that was supposed to include a stop in Key West but were diverted due to Hurricane Rita being in the area. 14 years later we finally made the trip.

To make the most of our time, we opted for an early morning flight. This helped to ensure that we would there early, but also that we would be cranky and not in the best of moods for the remainder of the day. I find that this is always a great idea in planning but a poor idea in execution.

Our flights were uneventful. We were offered to check our carry-on luggage to our final destination and did so to make life a little bit easier. A nice feature of the Delta app is that it tracks your bags through out the journey. I was able to ensure that they were onboard during the initial and connection flights. A very nice touch.

We arrived at Key West International Airport around 12:35 p.m. It is a quaint little airport where you must take the steps down to reach tarmac. You stay between the green lines and walk to Arrivals. Upon entering the building, you are quickly asked “Would you like a drink?” What a nice way to start our vacation. Drinks in hand, we received our luggage and called for a Lyft. We were on our way to our Bed and Breakfast, The Mermaid and The Alligator. This is a very nice Bed and Breakfast. We stayed in the Treetop Suite. As much as I enjoyed it, I would not recommend it to anyone over 5’5″. It was a constant awareness of not knocking your head against the angled ceilings.

After getting settled, we looked for recommendations for lunch. Mara, the manager, suggested B.O. Fish Wagon. It was amazing. I had the fish tacos and a beer. The fish was freshly caught and everything was cooked just perfectly. We also shared some Conch Fritters. Personally, they seemed like overpriced Hush Puppies. However, when in Key West, I was told I must try them. I can say I did.

During our time there, we had meals at Blue Heaven, Waterside Brewery, Sloppy Joes, Santiago’s Bodega, amongst others. You want to know more about the food, just ask.

Key West is an interesting, quirky place for me. It is a town that seems to be longing for the past and searching for the future at the same time. Upon our first walk around Duval Street (touristy section) we noticed a lot of run-down store fronts, buildings for rent, and just general need to repair and sprucing up. It made me wonder if I just needed to spend more time in beach towns and this is what they all look like, or if this is a town that is lost. At the end of four days, I still don’t know.

On our last evening, we went to Sloppy Joe’s. This is an old bar in town. The bar used to be at another location one block away. The owner of that building wanted to raise the rent $4 a month. So, the bar moved over one block. They had all their patrons help move it to the new place. Ernest Hemmingway helped them move. The people got a little carried away. They even helped move the plumbing. While moving the plumbing, Hemmingway felt that he had let so much of his money go down the drain that he deserved a urinal. He and his friend stole one and carried it the whole way back to his house. It is still there today.

This bar is built and pays tribute to Hemmingway. Pappa and his deeds are all over the place. While we were there, they were even having a look alike contest for his 120^th birthday. Sloppy Joes’ though seems like a packed bar of quiet desperation. It seems filled with people who looking to grab and hold on to that piece of nostalgia. Hemmingway lived in Key West after Paris and before Cuba. He was a young man. It was a very productive nine years. I mention this to go back to the look alike contest. All the contestants look like “Old Pappa”. The beard, the heavy face, the twilight of Hemmingway, not the prime. Much like a lot of Key West, Sloppy Joes just seemed to want to embrace the legend of what it was once was, but never really reaches its full glory. Hemmingway’s portrait hangs on the wall in quiet judgement of all that pass thru its doors.

With beautiful sunsets and views that can only be found that far South I am sure we will return to the shores again one day. When is to be determined.